Trust in the Transformation - Transformational Turbulence
This month, we continue our conversations on the topic of working less. Hopefully, you took action on the three recommendations from our last email and are eliminating more work hours each week to get closer to your work hours goal, prioritizing things that are part of your book of desires, and beginning to spend more time working ON the business rather than in client service delivery.
The 'work less' theme showed up frequently during our second annual two-and-a-half-day Dames member FunFerence, which was off-the-charts incredible! Here's some feedback we received from a Dame attendee.
"I truly loved the entire experience. I only wish we could have had more. I was learning so much and having such a great time. It was over too quickly. :)"
In the last 15 years as a business owner, I have attended retreats, conferences, and events of all shapes and sizes and have hosted events since 2012. I've even been 'behind the scenes' as part of teams planning and executing week-long retreats for hundreds of people in locations around the world.
I've learned two core lessons in managing events.
1. Attendees will always experience transformational turbulence if change is going to occur in their lives or business.
2. One of our core tenets in The Dames® is that your company will grow exponentially if you continuously work on your own personal growth as a business leader.
This is only true, of course, if you want to grow the way we recommend in The Dames®, which is sustainably, surrounded by love and support while living life to the fullest. Our growth philosophy is a stark contrast to the old way (grandpappy's way) of hustle, grind, overwork, overwhelm, and missing out on life.
I encouraged participants at the FunFerence to be more self-aware because transformational turbulence comes when you least expect it. You can be laughing one moment and crying the next with no idea why. Sometimes, it's anger that shows up, and you're trying to place the cause. We'll often feel ashamed of these reactions because we believe we should be farther along than we are in this emotional journey.
Self-flagellation hijacks the rest of the day, preventing us from being present and absorbing the brilliance we came for. When hard feelings arise, our tendency as humans is to respond in two ways: make ourselves wrong or place the blame on others. That's a long walk off a short pier.
The key to changing, growing, and working less is to trust in the transformation. You simply cannot go from working 60+ hours a week to working 30 hours a week without changing, period. You cannot shift any conditioning or habit without transforming.
Here's what I recommend doing the next time you attend a conference or retreat or start working with a new coach or advisor.
How to trust in the transformation:
- Let go of the idea that you know everything.
- Let go of perfectionism.
- Heal any guilt, shame, and anxiety. After all, these emotions are "detrimental to our well-being and progress," says psychiatrist Peter Breggin.
- Fill the open space you've created with what you want to feel and desire to create.
- Think new thoughts that align with what you want in life and business.
- Learn the new tools that will help you bring this new alignment to life.
- Make new habits that support living in your desires by applying what you've learned.
- If you feel moments of making yourself wrong or someone outside you wrong, stop it!
Give yourself more self-love and celebrate the shifts and changes you consciously make. Believe in yourself and know that each time you transform and uplevel, the next transformation will be easier. Because, oh yes, there will be more 'eyes of the needle' to go through and more changes to make once you reach the next tipping point.
Always remember to surround yourself with supportive, radically collaborative community members. It was so beautiful to see women supporting women through their transformations at the FunFerence! We hope to see you there next year!